The Final 100

After today, I have 100 blog entries left. It’s hard to believe. This is Post No. 265. 

Just like how people who have had a baby remark that they can’t remember what it was like before their bundle of joy arrived, in some ways I can’t remember what it was like to not be posting a blog every single night. It’s become part of my life. And the year is going to be over before I know it. 

I’m feeling very emotional and a little anxious today, probably because I fly back to Los Angeles tomorrow after a great three weeks in my home state of North Carolina. There’s usually a moment when I’m home that I’m aware of the tremendous passage of time and that life goes by so fast; it’s usually prompted by spending time with friends who have known me almost my whole life or by some song that I grew up with. Today, it was when I heard “Born To Run” on the radio and realized that it is almost 40 years old (38, to be exact) and I’m old enough to remember when it was a hit. So maybe it’s not that it struck me that “Born To Run” is so old, but that I am. Events that happened 20 years ago feel like yesterday, especially when I can remember what I wore (and the outfit may even still be in my closet).

In that same way, I’m struck by the passage of time and how quickly this year has gone by. I have so many causes and topics I still want to write about. (A little reminder: if you have a cause you want me to donate to, please let me know. Also, if you’re writing a guest blog, this is a good time to let me know when I can expect it). 

As I mentioned the other day, I’m working on a book proposal about the blog, so I’ve been thinking a lot lately about what the blog has meant to my life and how it has changed me this year. And the answer is that it has changed me in ways small and large and in ways that will last far beyond Dec. 31, after I've penned my last post. 

I have tried to be a kinder person this year, inspired by so many of the people and organizations I’ve written about. I’ve also really tried to be in the moment and not worry about things that may never happen, even when I feel fear about certain aspects of the future. And when bad things have happened, I’ve tried to focus on how fortunate I am and to believe that life will turn out exactly how it is supposed to, even if that doesn’t look like how I’ve wished it would or expected it to.

But mainly I’ve tried to be less self-absorbed and look outward instead of inward. There’s so much beauty out there and I’m so much better able to see and appreciate it when I remember that the world doesn’t revolve around me.  

I saw two items today that really spoke to me and my current frame of mind:

"Anxiety, heartbreak, and tenderness mark the in-between state. It's the kind of place we usually want to avoid. The challenge is to stay in the middle rather than buy into struggle and complaint. The challenge is to let it soften us rather than make us more rigid and afraid."

~ Pema Chödrön

And this essay on Huffington Post, “How to Get Flat Abs, Have Amazing Sex and Rule the World in 8 Easy Steps.” I tried to single out one of the eight steps as my favorite, but I like all of them. 

So I’m rambling and very unfocused tonight and I apologize for that. As this is my last night in Wake County for awhile, tonight’s donation goes to United Way of the Greater Triangle as a little thank you to my home.

Sept. 22: United Way of the Greater Triangle

Why I started this blog

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Sept. 22: United Way of the Greater Triangle